{Insert Random Hymn Quote}

Changes

2006-10-04T10:37:00.000-04:00

I have a new blog place http://www.gregfeightner.com/blog

Please no. . .

2006-08-29T23:53:00.000-04:00

Classes don't really start in a week do they. I was just having fun this summer working, pretending to read life changing books and hanging out with Elizabeth. Oh well, I guess I have been a bit bored and I'm looking forward to a couple of my courses. It will be a tough semester though.

Bulldog football is also just around the corner. I can't wait.

A prayer for overseas/cross-cultural missionaries

2006-06-27T23:13:00.000-04:00

Two experiences have converged to bring about this post:

First, I have begun a daily discipline of prayer and Bible meditation using The Daily Office: A Book of Hours for Daily Prayer (More info). In particular, these volumes are based on the traditional canonical hours and the Daily Office from the Book of Common Prayer. An online version of the traditional version may be found here.
This experience over the past couple days has revealed to me the beauty and power of written prayers. For one prone to distraction like myself, written prayers help to give a structure and serve as a way of remembering what and why we are praying. I feel like they open the door to more spontaneous prayer. Written prayers are akin to meter and rhyming patterns in poetry. They offer structure and options in the vast realm of language, emotion and petition. To offer another metaphor, I think of an astronaut on a spacewalk gathering atmospheric samples and repairing equipment yet still tethered to the spacecraft so as not to float away into irrelevance. {Note: I just discovered that the astronauts don't have actual physical tethers any longer, but you get the picture}

Second, I have been made aware of many friends and friends of friends serving as overseas or cross-cultural missionaries. I make this distinction of overseas or cross-cultural because I feel that apostolic Christians should all view themselves as missionaries wherever they are located. However, I realize that there are certain pressure points in one's life and ministry from my experience as a cross-cultural missionary in Latino Chicago and in knowing overseas missionaries.

As a result I felt inspired this evening to write a prayer that I will continue to use as I pray for my brothers and sisters ministering overseas and cross-culturally. Feel free to use it in your prayer time as well.

Triune Lord,
The one who calls us to places abnormal. Who calls us beyond places of complete comfort: Be with all those ministering in places not called 'home.'

We praise you for your sustaining Hand, life giving Word and empowering Spirit. We thank you for allowing us to be proclaimers and practicioners of your Love.
Protect [name or group]'s body and protect their hearts.
From your vast storehouse, provide them your resources.
[space to pray for specific programs, events or situations]

Bring supporters to them, surrounding them as a tight colonnade. May they walk with those both culturally and spiritually wise. Powerful Lord, show us [me] how I may support them, even from this distance. [Be silent and listen]

Let them be assured of your guidance as they walk down fruitful paths and gracefully guide them from paths contrary to your desires. [Intercede for specific situations or plans]

Finally, Lord, grant them opportunities to rest and be strengthened in your presence for it is by your power that all good things come to pass
Amen

A Hard Decision

2006-06-14T21:11:00.000-04:00

Wow. Life changes. Fast.
I made one of the hardest decisions of my life today. I have been a part of a non-denominational recently planted church. The values and methods of ministry and outreach of the church line up pretty well with my values.

This would be awesome except that I'm not called to be an attender or a lay person. I am called to train myself for vocational ministry, to be a pastor. More specifically, I am training to be a United Methodist pastor, so say all my scholarship essays.

Basically, Veritas Church does not serve as a good training ground for the next 5 years or so of my ministry. It has virtually no seniors or homebound members. The theology is pretty far from Wesleyan theology as one can get. And everything about Veritas is non-traditional.
Finally, it is not a UM church and well, not going to a UM church may be difficult to defend before my Board of Ordained Ministry, especially considering that I probably didn't give fair consideration to a few around here.

My time at Veritas was valuable however. I still have more experience in a church plant than most of my colleagues in ministry. I've also identified some UM churches around here that look promising. The biggest difficulty now will be arranging a Contextual Education site, as I had planned be at Veritas.

I have faith that God will provide some good option. I don't feel God would've led me to this point if not.

I can see the light

2006-04-28T00:26:00.000-04:00

Phew! This month has flown by. Generally, I hate reaching the end of a month and wondering where it went, however, I am just happy to have (almost!) made it.

I don't have any papers or projects due for a week and that seems like an eternity. I am happy to report that I've found someone to sub-lease my apartment so I may move into more spacious confines in 3 weeks. It also makes a second job less of necessity this summer, although I am still considering one. HOnestly, it isn't the "having a job" part that I am concerned about, just the whole job hunt process. There is nothing I hate more in life than looking for a job. I especially dislike havingto fill out an application that asks you where you went to high school and to list your last 3 employers (hello,read my resume) even if you give them a resume and speak to the manager in person.
I have begun composing a reading list for the Summer. I want to mix it up a bit. Some fiction, some theology, some sociological stuff.

Here are some options.

Gilead by Marilynne Robinson (Fiction)
The Divine Conspiracy, Dallas Willard
Just Generosity: A New Vision for Overcoming Poverty in America , Ron Sider
The Tipping Point (begun already) Malcolm Gladwell
The Good of Affluence: Seeking God in a Culture of Wealth by John R. Schneider
The Moral Vison of the New Testament by Richard Hays

Any other ideas or suggestions (particularly inspiring fiction or poetry), post 'em!

Random Starbucks Observation

2006-04-01T17:58:00.000-05:00

I always reach a point of complete annoyance on Saturdays when I try to study. You see, my apartment is pretty noisy. I don't just mean regular city noise like traffic or random emergency vehicle sirens either. Here is a sampling of the noise I am likely to encounter in the next five minutes.

Children next door either crying or banging their toys around
Even louder children outside speaking in foreign languages and/or squealing alot.
Fire Truck sirens across the street
Dump trucks or other construction equipment emitting more bass than a low-rider convention

So, instead of enduring constant irritation while trying to study, I chose to go to Starbucks to study.

My ears perked up from studiyng the English reformation when I heard talk of people fasting sweets during Lent.

Basically, one woman said, "I know I'm fasting sweets for Lent right now, but what the hell, I want this Frappucino."

It just made me wonder why one would fast in the first place. The more generous side of me thinks that she had some noble intention of using the fast as a chance to experience God's grace whereas the more cynical side of me wants to chalk it up to having the form of religion but lacking the power of the Spirit.

I'm not trying to make any point here, just an observation I wanted to share.

Mealtime Habits

2006-03-26T23:23:00.000-05:00

Be forewarned: This post resembles structured stream of consciousness. If that sounds too paradoxical, keep reading to see it in practice.

I've been going through Conrad Gempf's Mealtime Habits of the Messiah as a devotional discipline during Lent. The writing is very casual and easy to understand. Some may call the writing style flippant, however his treatments of the Gospel accounts are anything but.

I've found the different sections to be scholarly and full of insight. It has certainly given me much to think about as I've gone through it. I guess, rarely do I look forward to reading anything in the morning but I get up early so that I can go through it.

I've never been much into doing Devotional books or even spiritual disciplines. It kind of follows from my mildly undisciplined way of going about life, though I am improving. (Note: If you are on the Board of Ordained Ministry, disregard that statement). However, I was arrested by a thought a couple days before Lent. The conviction was that despite all my praying and studying the Bible and ministry, I had ceased to be a disciple of Jesus.
I had all but stopped reading the Gospels, stopped considering the life of Christ and stopped applying deeper truth to my daily life. So I decided to be a good Wesleyan and discipline myself by waking early and praying and reading the Gospels (aided by Gempf) and journaling.

So, what shall I conclude from this. That a disciplined life truly is better. I feel as if I'm able to view things in their proper perspective.

Speaking of perspective, I love the song "When I Look at the World" by U2, track 9 on their All That You Can't Leave Behind album. I think I cried listening to it a couple days ago.

"When there's all kinds of chaos
And everyone is walking lame,
You don't even blink now, do you
Don't even look away

Speaking of U2 and other stuff from across the pond, apparently I've been reading too much writing from over there. On an assignment a couple weeks ago, I accidentely spelled "globalization" as "globalisation." Go ahead, laugh. You probably don't even know what globalization or globalisation is. Have you ever heard of Thomas Friedman? Thought so. If you do know a little something (or alot) about globalization, please accept an apology for my sarcasm.

Hopefully, this is enough writing to appease my stalker/groupie. If not, you know how to find me.

Reconnected with an old friend today

2006-01-15T22:25:00.000-05:00

I got a Flickr-mail today from an old friend, a video production colleague, www.flickr.com/photos/mdshivers , seriously among the most talented and easy-going people I've known in my life.

I remember a shoot we were doing for our final project. It was in a graveyard and the crew was supposed to meet about 8:00 am in the cemetary. Well, only two of us showed up, myself and Mike. I remember being exasperated at times as he constantly want to re-shoot and get new angles. I'd been camping the night before and was pretty tired and hadn't had much for breakfast. Still, as I dissected the footage in the editing room I was grateful for his doggedness.
I feel as if the creative side of me has waned even as I've grown more in the way of administration and "leadership." I hope to recover those talents and to get the chance to take more photos.

Creativity is essential for communication and as a minister in training I am, basically, a communicator. That is why I feel it is so important to get back to some of my creative roots. I've begun reading fiction again and not just C.S. Lewis, which is almost TOO allegorical for my tastes. I'm trying to find some subjects for photography and am looking into purchasing another camera that gives me more control over my shots.

Mike, thanks for being an inspiration. Let's get some coffee soon.

Holiday Update

2006-01-05T15:11:00.000-05:00

I enjoyed celebrating Christmas with my family this year, however, it was nice to only be there for a few days. One of the highlights, it seemed, was seeing my hard-luck, poor choice making, uncle smile more than once and not because he'd just made fun of somebody. It seemed that we all, this year, consciously tried to find him gifts that he'd enjoy or use instead of getting him some little token so he wouldn't feel left out.

We used to make fun of him alot. Upon landing on the "Just Visiting Jail" square in Monopoly my sisters and I would laugh and say, "going to visit Uncle Jim again." I guess, it has taken me some time to see certain family members of mine as human beings and not just personalities to be endured during holidays.

I spent the last days of 2005 and the first days of 2006 in North Carolina with some old friends from college. We explored parts of Great Smoky Mountains National Park and I was able to get some nice photos of Steve and Laura (my companions). I'd forgotten how much fun it was to just hang out with old friends. It seemed, whenever I would visit them this semester, we were all tired or stressed or mentally preoccupied and the fellowship seemed forced. This past week, it didn't.
I'm going to start co-leading a "Connection group" with my church this year. Basically, it is a group that meets after the worship gathering to welcome visitors and catch up with each other if we haven't been in contact during the week. Slowly, the group has become redefined. "Connection" seems a bit inaccurate. Perhaps, "First Touch" would define it better. But that seems either a bit cheesy or pretentious. Maybe I'll just keep that one to myself.

I'm excited about this New Year already swollen with opportunity.

Firefox 1.5

2005-12-02T01:10:00.000-05:00

I just installed and started using the lastest version of Mozilla Firefox, 1.5. It has an extension you can install called "Stumble Upon." You bascially create an accout and then choose areas of interest, from there you have a tool bar and click "Stumble" and it will show you websites that other users have found of similar interest.

Here is one I "stumbled upon" tonight, pretty amazing

http://gprime.net/images/sidewalkchalkguy/

Alright now, get the picture

2005-11-27T00:50:00.000-05:00

Georgia up 7 points, but Tech has driven down the field in a matter of just a minute. Ball on the Georgia 26 yard line, Reggie Ball drops back, tosses it down the center of the field, to that ol' Calvin Johnson, coveredby threemen, the ball bounces off his back, but it looks like Number 17 Greg Blue had an arm around Johnson's neck, here comes the flag. .. pass interference.

They move the ball up to the Georgia 11. . .oh, i don't like how this looks, we don't even have a safety back there and Tech has a fresh set of downs. . ball snapped to ball, he throws to his left . . .and. . .INTERCEPTION!!!! Tim Jennings running down the field. . he just stepped in front of Bilbo, Tech's reciever. . .GOLLLY!!!

Well, that' s probably not really how Larry Munson said it, but that's what I imagine he said. . .Funny, on that one play, my friends and I nearly fell over each other celebrating. . .The game, honestly, had been dreadfully boring but on one play, it was redeemed. Life is like that sometimes, a routine slog and then, something wonderful, incredible happens. I imagine that's what it will be like when I find someone to really love and love me back. Yes, in that way.

Batter my heart

2005-11-15T17:17:00.000-05:00

I came upon this poem today. It is one of my favorite poems as a prayer.

[Batter my hear, three personed God; for You]
John Donne

Batter my heart, three-person'd God, for you

As yet but knock, breathe, shine, and seek to mend;

That I may rise and stand, o'erthrow me, and bend

Your force to break, blow, burn, and make me new.

I, like an usurp'd town to'another due,

Labor to'admit you, but oh, to no end!

Reason, your viceroy in me, me should defend,

But is captiv'd, and proves weak or untrue.

Yet dearly'I love you, and would be lov'd fain,

But am betroth'd unto your enemy;

Divorce me,'untie or break that knot again,

Take me to you, imprison me, for I,

Except you'enthrall me, never shall be free,

Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me.

Philosophy, Theology, Sociology

2005-11-10T01:34:00.000-05:00

Quiz: Which of the words in the title of this post most acurately describes my current education at Candler?

I guess it depends on the class, although most days it feels like theology, conversations with other students tend more towards philosophical or sociological.
Case in point: Discussing current UMC events with some friends it became quickly apparent that it wasn't simply a difference in theology but rather a difference in philosophy, as in I hold to the Bible as God's authoritative Word rather than just one revelation. I wonder sometimes how many people who quote Jesus have actually read all of his words as recorded in the Gospels? Or how many choose to ignore Paul's writings because they are too practical (for the most part) and least able to be bent to one particular bias.

WARNING!
Completely new train of thought NOW!
I met with some representative from the South Georgia Conference today. I got a mixed impression. One of the reps I felt pretty comfortable around, the other, not so, perhaps it was that he seemed to lack a smile or I felt that he looked down on me for expressing a desire to do urban ministry in what is an almost completely rural conference. Hey, I don't make up my calling.
I was also a bit tongue tied with the Bishop, no clue where that came from. Hopefully, one day, I'll get some confidence around people taller than me. If not, I'm gonna have to start wearing riser shoes or something.
I'm done now. Thanks for reading.

A test week

2005-11-05T11:47:00.000-05:00

Some people say blogging is a good spiritual discipline, helps develop your mind, lets you stay in contact with friends. . .etc. . .well, this post, i've decided that blogging is for laughing at myself.
For the 5 of you tha read this I present how my kitchen looked circa Thursday morning before a test that I had spent all my time studying for and therefore never bothered to clean my kitchen after cooking for 5 days straight.

Yes, those are unrinsed cans of condensed cream of mushroom soup and chicken broth that had sat out for a nighton the counter. On your left you see plates with meatloaf residue on them from Monday night.mmmmmm. . . .Amazingly, no roaches or ants. Apparently the ants like my vanilla mint flavored toothpaste more.

Here are a couple pics after I got around to cleaning up this morning

Just venting. . .

2005-10-21T00:10:00.000-04:00

I am super busy up here. I have my regular classes, my contextual education project (4 hours a week), my job, studying outside of class and my church. I love it, but some days i want to do nothing but sleep or eat cheese puffs and watch football.
I'm tired of hearing and talking about God as if the Lord is a warm fuzzy or a noble idea. I'm tired of viewing Jesus simply as the leader of a movement.

I want to scream at times "Jesus died and rose for more than this that we are settling for." More than political or financial "up"lift he wants us free of debt to external things. I believe part of justice is economic, but it is so much more. To lose sight of either the tangible, material aspects or the spiritual life is to tread dangerous waters. There is a balance that only a Spirit-led life can lead.

Will someone please stand up and read the Bible without an agenda, without focusing on minutae interpretation to get past hard things
Rambling, done.

Almost Famous

2005-10-10T15:44:00.000-04:00

I just did a my periodic googling of my name and came across this. . .kinda neat. . .

http://marketplace.publicradio.org/shows/2005/10/07/PM200510072.html?rsssource=1

basically, someone used a photo of mine from flickr

One of those potentially life changing days

2005-09-28T01:39:00.000-04:00

I really don't intend for this blog to be simply a journal, but as I sit to write I have trouble composing anything but reports in a lucid manner. Today was pretty heavy emotionally and mentally.
First, I told a friend of mine about an demonic deliverance (for lack of a better term) I was a partner to a couple years ago. I got some strange looks from eavesdroppers on the porch. I guess I try to keep some of my more "charismatic" experiences hidden or less obvious. It isn't that I'm ashamed of them but just that they are so misunderstood and I feel like it is worthless to talk about "holy spirit stuff" if someone is ready to listen and consider a realm beyond reason.
Second, I feel like maybe God is showing me a type of congregation that I could lead. I'm still working through some of the terminology and expression of what I feel and picture, but basically it would be an urban congregation in a gentrifying or transitional neighborhood with the aims of racial/socioeconomic reconciliation and transforming lives through by the power of Jesus.
Have I used enough vague phrases yet? I'll probably write more later, I'm still working through this.

I forgot how much I like Howard Thurman

2005-09-25T04:32:00.000-04:00

Life= Good, Busy, I like it. I had dinner and drinks with some old friends in Decatur on Friday night and I got to inject words like Gnosticism and Neo-Platonism into the discussion. Too bad chicks don't seem to dig theology too much. At least, not the chicks in stated company.
Of course, I'm not a big fan of theology when it is just kept as a head thing. For the sake of my nephew and the ladies reading this I'll refrain from referencing theological discussion that is purely speculative and mind-bound as being akin to a certain more vulgar form of self-gratific. . .oh, there I go, sorry.
All that being said, I'll share a slight bit from a new favorite author of mine, Howard Thurman. It is unfortunate that his work has been co-opted by liberation theologians for less than God-glorifying purposes:

From Thurman's book Jesus and the Disinherited, Chapter 1. I read it first in Chicago and am reading it again for my Contextual Education class:

In the midst of this psychological (Roman oppression and loss of Hebrew identity) climate Jesus began his teaching and his ministry. his words were directed to the House of Israel, a minority within the Greco-Roman world, smarting under the loss of status, freedom, and automony. . .His message focused on the urgency of a radical change in the inner attitude (emphasis mine) of the people. He recongnized fully that out of the heart are the issues of life and that no external force, however great and overwhelming can at long last destroy a people if it does not first win the victory of the spirit within them.

Airport Haze

2005-09-21T04:40:00.000-04:00

A little before midnight

Tonight while driving back from Patrick's, the most honest Southern Baptist I know, I started feeling like I do whenever I'm in the airport. It is a tough feeling to describe. . .What do I see?? Everything on a grander scale, I realize my insignificance but I also realize the importance of my contribution to the whole.

For some reason, everything smells bad. .. whether chicken houses, a field of roses, or a woman wearing the ubiquitous cucumber melon or warm vanilla sugar scented lotion.

In short, I am always excited or at least anxious at the airport but I rarely feel energized. In fact, I often feel pretty sick at airports. Restlessness and Seattle's Best combine to a brew leaving my mind is often going ninety to nothing but my body is a bit more lethargic. . .

I can't escape the metaphor. I am taking a flight of sorts. I'm leaving behind a lot of my traditional interpretations of the Bible and spirituality but I'm not really sure what awaits me on the other end of the flight. Oh, I know that there will be baggage claim and somebody like a District Board to pick me up and usher me to the next immediate destination. Usually, at least when I fly home, the immediate destination is a restaurant but I'm not quite sure in this metaphor if that will be true. In fact, I may get fed more on the in-flight snacks than I will upon arriving.

So, I am taking a flight. Others hustle aboard this plane with me and I pray that we get along even if we have different opinions of where we should land.

As much as I love clouds, I hate them when I fly. . .On this flight I hope to have clear skies so that I may be able to discern what it is I am flying over. . . .and hopefully get a glimpse of the locale before I land.

I promise, soon

2005-09-15T20:38:00.000-04:00

there is nothing here as you can see
i will restart soon so don't hate me

this is all i can muster after a day of 8:30-5:00 class. okay, a 2 hour lunch break also, but most of that was spent wondering where i am in regards to Mosaic authorship of the Pentateuch.

ghf